


Gay/Gayer/Gayest Chicken

by some_good_clean_fun



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bisexuality, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Neither of them are married or have been married in this story, podcasts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23012320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_good_clean_fun/pseuds/some_good_clean_fun
Summary: There are three things that Danny knows for sure; he’s straight, Drew’s not into him, and making a podcast as well as youtube videos will get him some quick and easy coin without turning his life upside-down.
Relationships: Danny Gonzalez/Drew Gooden
Comments: 18
Kudos: 89





	Gay/Gayer/Gayest Chicken

On Tuesday, Drew messages and says, “I’m going to start a podcast, but I can’t do it without my cutest clone.” By Wednesday, Danny has committed himself to a three month pre-production schedule and devoted 5 hours every Friday to initially plan and eventually record. The wild parties can _probably_ go on without him and it’s the most suitable time for them both, so. It’s not like he desperately needed to fill a void in his life or anything, or Drew somehow knew this, it’s simply a convenience thing. 

“I have this idea,” Drew says halfway through a video chat in the first month of planning, research, and logistical manipulation. “But I don’t want you to think I’m forcing it on you or anything.”

“Okay,” Danny replies, vowel sounds elongated. “That doesn’t sound at all disturbing.”

“We wanna be super meta with this, right? We want it to be the _Community_ of podcasts?”

“Lemme just check my notes.” Danny dramatically flourishes a blank piece of paper, pretends to scan down the page and find ‘the note’. “Yeah, it says so here in appendix D.”

He tries not to smirk, but he suspects he fails. 

“One of the things that always kinda annoyed me about _Community_ was how they never exploded the buddy trope with Troy and Abed. I always thought the buddy thing would turn on its head and they’d become love interests.”

“You did?”

“Well, yeah. It made the most sense to me. That’s what these films and shows never do. They have these dudes who clearly fall in love with each other, but keep it platonic. Which there’s nothing wrong with, of course, I totally get it, it’s important so show healthy relationships between people of all types, it’s just… the platonic buddies thing is kind of played out.”

“Have you… written this speech down? You keep looking off to the side, like you’ve got an auto-cue.”

“Yeah I have. This is important to me. Because I want us to mess with the trope and there’s no one I trust more to do it with than you.”

“Just so we’re clear; you want us to pretend to fall in love.”

“Yeah. I’m thinking we’ll drop hints here and there, post some pics at our meet-ups, do the whole ‘collab video, pause in recording, pinker lips and mussed-up hair’ routine.”

“So when do we divulge the truth?”

“I haven’t figured that part out yet. Start of or middle of season two maybe?”

Danny wouldn’t say he feels uncomfortable. He’s not that guy. He doesn’t freak out from gay panic. He’s not afraid to show affection with any of his friends, regardless of their sex or gender. He’s not horrified by the thought of pretending to get closer to Drew, because he likes getting close to Drew. When Drew told him he was bi he never once worried Drew would come onto him, because Drew’s pretty obvious when he’s into someone and there’s no way he feels that way about Danny.

But. 

He is wary. Already he can think of a few different ways this could go south. For one, he doesn’t like the idea of lying to his fans. What Drew’s suggesting is the kind of artifice that could hurt people’s feelings, make them feel invalidated. Even though he’s a commentary youtuber and has mocked people before – he’s always tried to punch up rather than down and he tries really hard not to be mean-spirited or cruel. Danny’s comfortable in his sexuality. He can appreciate the aesthetics of a good-looking man. Hell, he frequently enjoys the aesthetics of Drew, has a little collection of pics saved to his phone to scroll through when he’s not feeling the greatest. But he’s straight and pretending not to be, even in the name of showing how regressive a well-worn trope can be, feels exploitative.

Second, it will complicate their friendship. There’s no two ways about it. It’ll be confusing for a while, especially after they finish, even more after they fictitiously break up. Because they’d have to publicly break up, right? They couldn’t keep the story going forever. Danny doesn’t like the idea of not being able to collab with Drew for the foreseeable future. 

Thirdly, and he’s not proud of this one because it’s undeniably the most selfish of all his reasons, Danny wants to keep his options open, dating-wise. He’s been consistently lonely since college, has only had girlfriends for short periods of time, a few one or two night hook-ups. He’s been wanting something more permanent for long enough that it feels like a physical ache inside his rib cage, not quite in the cockles of his heart, but close. 

So Danny honestly and truly has no idea why he says, “I think that’d be really interesting and add yet another dimension to the storytelling. Why not?” 

Maybe it was the depth of Drew’s baby blues. Or a subconscious part of him was worried Drew would think it _was_ gay panic. It might’ve been a fear of letting one of his best friends down. Either way, Danny agreed, and he likes to keep his promises, even the unspoken ones.

*

Before they begin, Danny warns his family what he and Drew are up to. At first, his mom almost certainly thinks he’s coming out. 

“You two will make such a sweet couple,” she croons. “Drew’s such a good boy.”

“Yeah, he’s the more fiscally responsible version of Danny,” his sister says, “Gets huge sponsorship deals and keeps the money rather than sinking it all into overly grandiose slime music videos or terrible ads that plague all of youtube-kind.”

“Drew is a good boy, he’s a very good boy, but he’s only going to be my _pretend_ boyfriend, so he won’t be able to stop me from spending my money on whatever elaborate schemes I see fit,” Danny says, pointedly.

“What a shame,” his mom says, but she’s ribbing him. 

He always knew his family is supportive of everything he chooses to be and do, but it’s a heart warming moment all the same.

*

Starting a podcast is not smooth sailing. In fact, one could almost say that the waters are choppy, rough, and filled with animatronic sharks with lasers on their heads. 

The first couple recordings of the podcast are an unmitigated disaster for a variety of reasons. From a smashed tablet to a failing microphone to Audacity crashing and taking three hours’ worth of editing with it, to Drew getting a cold so bad he sounds like Droopy the Cartoon Dog, they are awful experiences. But they are also surprisingly successful. Danny had thought it’d take a couple months for them to gain any kind of audience, but actually their loyal fans have been clamoring for something just like this. His subreddit is ablaze in quotes, particularly the meta bits that had worked really well. They’ve even managed to secure sponsorship for the third episode, so that’s neat.

On Friday morning, Danny drives to the gym thinking about how Drew declared the latest episode is when they’re going to begin subtly flirting with each other. Danny doesn’t really know how to flirt. He’s always nice and friendly to people and sometimes people interpret that as flirting, but that’s rarely his intention. He doesn’t really know what he could do differently to make it seem like he’s flirting with Drew. Maybe say some of the things he self-censors occasionally? Like how he’s surprised Drew’s still single considering he’s a smoke-show in a boy next door kind of way. Or how he genuinely joyously anticipates every time they’re going to be together. How the tour was honestly the best month and a half of his life. The things he’s always worried will make him sound too forward, or too clingy, or too pathetic. Yeah, that sounds about right. 

He works out how he’ll slip these confessions in, mentally listens to the tone of his voice and how casual he wants to speak. He’s toward the end of his work out when a Brent Rivera type saunters over, stands nearby. Danny takes out his earbud, tries not to feel disconcerted by the way Muscles is gazing at him. He’s always been slender and he’s fine with that, he doesn’t need to have a six-pack and guns, but he has been building some muscle mass over the past couple months and the last thing he needs is some meathead making him feel inferior because he’s more of a pebble than The Rock. 

“Nearly finished, dude.”

“Great! I’m finished too. I was wondering if you’d wanna grab coffee after this?”

Danny squints. Is this a prank? Muscles seems genuine enough. Is he a fan? He doesn’t look like the kind of guy who’d watch anything other than crossfit tutorials, but you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, yada yada. Maybe he’s new in town and is trying to build a friendship base. What’s the worst that could happen? Danny gets stuffed into a locker for the first time in his life? 

“Um, okay?”

About ten minutes into coffee with Muscles, whose real name is Nathan, Danny realizes he’s on a date. Nathan buys him a gluten-free danish as well as paying for his coffee, and he asks Danny all the typical date questions. He also scans Danny from head to toe, not a creepy way, just appreciative, but certainly not how heterosexual men usually look at one another. 

Nathan’s actually really cool. He likes some of the same musical artists as Danny, watches a couple of the same shows, works as an accountant for a nearby firm – and Danny needs a reliable accountant friend, because working for himself is a tax nightmare. He’s really personable and Danny can easily see how someone could fall for him. He has dark brown eyes that light up with warmth when he’s laughing, and he gets a dimple in his left cheek when he smiles. 

Danny feels like a complete jerk. He never meant to lead Nathan on. 

“This was fun, I’d really like to see you again,” Nathan says at the end of the date. 

Danny has been preparing for this moment during all the conversation down-times. “I had a great time too. But I’m coming out of a bad break-up and I’m more interested in friendship, if that’s okay?”

Danny’s last break-up was three years ago and he was best man at her wedding last August, but it’s a believable lie. It’s the kindest way he can think of to let Nathan down. 

Nathan nods, like he was expecting it. “That’d be cool. You buy the coffees next time, all right?”

Danny grins, so relieved his heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest. “Absolutely.”

They say their goodbyes and part ways. Danny agrees to say hi next time they’re at the gym together. Apparently they share a similar routine, but he’d never noticed before. 

Back home, in the shower, Danny contemplates all the comedic beats in retelling the story to Drew. He plans out the pauses and the rhetorical questions, every lilt of his voice. But once they’re on the skype call together, he can’t find a way to slip it into the conversation organically, so he doesn’t say anything, just thinks about it and what Drew’s reaction might be. Would he call Danny his sweet summer child? Ask him to introduce him to Nathan? Be jealous?

They set everything they need up and begin the recording, and it’s by far the best of their podcast episodes yet. Drew makes him laugh so hard he knocks a full glass of almond milk over, and he successfully diverts Drew from being high-key sarcastic to low-key sincere. 

*

Danny visits Drew two weeks later. They’re going to film a series of videos, as well as film one of their podcasts live, and record sections for their podcast that they can edit in later down the track. It’ll be a good break. Danny’s been stalled on his solo projects and he needs some kind of rejuvenation. He always finds Drew’s input useful. Last time he visited he stayed in a hotel, but Drew’s made up a room for him this time and even asked him if there were specific groceries he wanted. He was initially supposed to stay three days, but he has flexible flights, so if it takes longer, he can stay indefinitely. 

“Hey,” Drew says, reeling Danny in for a hug as they meet at airport arrivals. Drew had been holding a sign with his own name on it, because of course he was. “How was the flight?”

Danny returns the hug, allowing himself the warmth and contact. It’s been a while since someone’s held him like this. “I flew Delta, so you tell me.”

Drew pulls away, affects a look of mock-horror, his hands still clasped around Danny’s shoulders. “I can never make up for the things you’ve witnessed, but I can at least buy you lunch.”

They chat about random inanities the rest of the day, Drew mercifully giving Danny the day to settle in and relax. He promised they’d be hard at work again in the AM, so that’s terrible. They play Super Smash Bros and completely live up to their ‘we’re not two different people’ schtick by alternately winning every game. Their best out of three becomes best out of fifteen, until Danny’s red in the face and Drew’s voice has gone so high pitched he sounds like he sucked in a room full of helium. 

“You’re cheating somehow, you must be.”

“I can read your mind.”

“That explains the blush!”

Eventually they give up, because it’s clear neither one of them can gain the advantage. In their quest for dominance, they’ve slid close together on the couch and Drew’s leg is pressed all up along Danny’s. Danny can’t help but slide his eyes down to gaze at them, how near they’ve gotten. He’s had Drew grinding all up on him in the name of comedy before, but it’s never felt quite as intimate as this.

“You got any songs in the works?” Drew asks, stealing Danny’s concentration.

“Yeah, actually. I’m workshopping a song about facetune. I’ve avoided it for a while but I’ve finally got some rhymes I like, been building up the beat. You know how I like making songs about phenomena like two years after they’re a trend.”

“Grab your laptop. I’ll be your completely unbiased sounding board.”

“Last time you offered that you suggested I add fart noises every time I say ‘hey’.”

“And I’m still gutted you ignored my advice.”

Danny plays Drew the song, to a mostly positive response, though Drew does raise his eyebrows at Danny’s rhyme of ‘Kardashian’ with ‘Fashion’. “It’s ironically shitty.”

“Even if it weren’t, you could lie and say it was.” Drew takes over the laptop, listens to the song again, snorts out a laugh at one of the lines. “I’m always really impressed with your music. Everything you do is like the dictionary definition of a bop.”

It’s not surprising to be proud that one of your best friends likes your work, but Danny still feels a little ashamed by how bubbly he feels inside. He admires and respects Drew, and to have his good opinion means a whole lot to him. Maybe more than he ever realized before.

*

Their days of both video and audio recording go well, but they absolutely put too much on their plates, bite off more than they can chew, and try to swallow great big lumps of hubris, because it gets to 2 am the morning they usually post their podcast and they’re still up editing together. They’re both wearing their glasses. They’re both slumped in their chairs at the kitchen table rather than in Drew’s office because they desperately needed a change of scenery. And they’re both miserable.

The thing a lot of people don’t realize about being a youtuber and/or podcaster is that you might technically be able to have more time off than someone with an office job, but not only are there far fewer protections, you end up working just as many if not more hours some weeks. 

“God, why did we do this to ourselves?” Drew whines.

“The money.”

“I don’t know about you, but I was actually doing fine, when it comes to the moolah. I have great sponsorships, I rarely get demonetized, and my merch store may not be as successful as yours, but it’s all right.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve been doing pretty well.” Danny scratches his neck, affects what he hopes is a casual tone rather than interrogative. “Then why did you want to do this?”

“I don’t know. Youtube’s been getting kinda stale for me? I wanted to add more challenge into my life, which I think we can both agree has definitely been a success. Why did you?”

“You asked.”

Drew quirks an eyebrow, then smiles, soft and tender. Danny stares into his eyes for a beat, more, his heart thumping wildly. 

“This conversation is perfect for the podcast,” Drew says, “Mind if we recreate it?” 

Danny doesn’t know why he feels like a lead ball sinks into his stomach. It’s probably exhaustion. He nods, turns back to Audacity and perfects all of their cuts. 

*

At 5 in the morning, Danny’s still awake, though he and Drew retired to their beds at around 3. It’s strange being in someone else’s apartment. All of the creaks and squeaks a place makes sound ten times louder when you’re not used to them and there’s the eerie sense of being a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. He spends ten minutes debating whether to get up and fill his water glass, not wanting to awaken Drew, but thinking about how thirsty he is only makes him thirstier, so he creeps out of the bedroom and to the kitchen on tippy toes.

He needn’t have bothered. Drew is at the fridge with a carton of juice, the wan light illuminating his attire of shorts and nothing else. He’s tall and slim, less muscular even than Danny. But there’s the promise of wiry strength in his arms and like this, Danny can see how he’s all clean lines and angles, like a fascinating geometric sculpture.

He finds his eyes lingering on the treasure trail dipping into Drew’s shorts.

Drew glances at Danny blearily. “Can’t sleep?”

Danny holds up his glass in answer, rests his hip against the kitchen counter as he watches Drew pour out some OJ. 

Drew’s hair is a shock of spikes. Danny itches to lean forward and smooth it out. Drew has a light scruff along his jawline and Danny wonders what it’d feel like against the caress of his palm.

Drew pours him a drink, pats him on the shoulder – the heat is all-encompassing, how can a single touch feel so strong? -- and walks out of the kitchen with a zombie-like shuffle. “Night.”

*

They’re recording an episode of their podcast live. It’s terrifying and Danny hasn’t pooped his pants since he was eight years old, but he feels like there’s every probability he will within the next hour and a half, because the youtube chat window has flared into life. He has seen ‘Greg’ no fewer than nineteen times out of the corner of his eye. Not only are they recording live, but Drew has a surprise for Danny and being in the dark when he’s on display tops his list of nightmare fuel experiences.

“I used to get overly defensive when people would ask me if I was into more typically feminine things because I’m bi, like, what, you have to be effeminate to enjoy sucking dick, you know?” Drew says after their initial greetings.

“Yeah,” Danny says, though he wouldn’t say he knows, more that he empathizes. 

“I’m trying to train myself out of that and try lots of different things to see if I like them after all. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, but I don’t want other people’s expectations of me to inform that.”

“You only have the one life, so there’s no point shoving yourself into a box of narrow definitions and never venturing out of it,” Danny agrees. “Who says that just because you’re _supposed_ to like or dislike this, that or the other you have to conform to that.”

“Exactly. So. Today we’re following a Simplynailogical tutorial and we’re going to give each other super sexy and sparkly holo manicures.”

Danny laughs. When Drew refused to tell him what they were up to today, this wasn’t in his list of guesses. “Wooeeeooooowww,” he imitates. 

Drew grins, seems delighted by Danny’s response. He brings the case that Danny’s been curious about up and inside there are a bunch of nail polishes, a couple of nail files, some containers of unknown products. 

“I’ll do you and then you do me, okay?” Drew asks. 

Danny gives an exaggerated wink at the camera. He dutifully gives Drew his hand when he gestures for it and makes faux guesses about what Drew’s doing each step of the way. He’s not as ignorant as he claims to be, because his sister used to practice on him when they were younger and he’s thought about doing a Greg manicure tutorial before so he’s watched several hours’ worth of nail videos at this point. It’s funnier if he pretends to know nothing, though. 

“You remember when Laura did my make-up?” Danny asks, halfway through the nail prep. “I thought I made a pretty good-looking girl.”

“Totally. You have _those_ eyes, so highlighting them with mascara was a good look. That’s when I find peak bi mode is activated for me, with that play in gender stereotypes. Guys wearing make-up, girls in suits, anyone non-binary. I honestly get so confused and aroused at the same time.”

“Conroused, afused,” Danny murmurs. “What’s confusing about it? You’ve seemed fairly secure in your sexuality ever since I’ve known you.”

Danny’s envious of how secure Drew’s always seemed.

“I guess the question of what is it about this that’s so hot to me. Is it the interplay between contrasts? Is it the self-expression? Is it just the confidence of the person playing in that space? I don’t know.”

Danny is startlingly aware that Drew’s fingers are wrapped around his hand as he gently finishes applying base coat and leans close to survey his work. The glide of their skin has Danny’s breath going shallow and short, his tongue welding itself to the roof of his mouth. He can tell he’s been lacking touch lately if something so simple can have his entire nervous system lighting up. 

Drew peeks up at him, eyes going dark as he takes in whatever Danny’s face is doing, expression-wise. “I have the perfect background color for you,” Drew says, quieter than usual. Danny is mesmerized by the curve of his neck, the touch of his finger-tips. The spell is broken when he begins to apply a sparkly holo pink to Danny’s nails. “It’s to match your rosacea.”

“You bitch!” Danny laughs, indignant and deeply relieved by the release of tension.

*

“I had no idea you’re such a good actor,” Drew says later, after a few ciders and a lot of twitter, youtube and instagram commenting. The livestream was an unmitigated success and their socials are blowing the fuck up. Danny’s had to set his phone to do not disturb in order to get some peace.

“I’m not,” Danny says truthfully. He’s a little tipsy and he hasn’t fully caught onto the undercurrent in Drew’s tone.

“Well, you were bringing an Oscar-worthy performance earlier. I thought you were gonna kiss me.”

Danny takes another swig of cider. How does he play this? Does he admit to Drew that he’s been feeling all kinds of ways about his proximity? 

“Isn’t that what you want?” Danny asks. “For the podcast, I mean?”

Drew stares at him for a disconcertingly long time. “Yeah. I guess so. If you’d be comfortable with that.”

“I don’t see why not,” Danny says, but he’s kind of afraid he’s lying. 

He can’t tell if it’s because he’s been so lonely lately, or the power of suggestion, or if some of the things Drew’s been saying have gelled with things he’s felt, but there are moments he feels completely untethered from what he thinks he knows.

Is he bi? It feels like he’s too old to suddenly be making this revelation. Yeah, he used to have teenage dreams about his male friends about as frequently as he did his female friends, but he also used to have dreams about three-hole punchers and cartoon characters, so he never took it seriously. He didn’t experiment sexually in college because he had a girlfriend the whole time and just wasn’t interested in anyone except her.

But.

There’s something here with Drew and it shakes Danny down to his core. He’s always been very self-knowing and confident in what he wants and how he wants to get there, so being this in the dark has him rattled. 

*

Danny goes back to Illinois. He’s not exactly happy about it while simultaneously being over the moon. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s worried that if he tells Drew what he’s been feeling he’ll fracture their friendship irreparably. But if he doesn’t tell Drew how he’s been feeling it might just blow up into a big ball of hot air and send him flying among the clouds, never to be seen again. It sure is a conundrum. 

At the gym, Danny approaches Nathan. They’ve kept up a dialog, mostly filled with, ‘Hey, how are you?’ and ‘Wanna spot me on the weights?’ and even though they don’t know each other very well, Danny feels like he can trust him. Actually, it’s probably because Nathan doesn’t know him that well that Danny feels safe. He doesn’t have to contend with pre-existing suppositions or long-held beliefs. 

Danny buys Nathan coffee and cake. 

“I was hoping for some advice,” Danny says after they’ve been sitting chatting for ten minutes.

“I knew you had ulterior motives,” Nathan says, but the roll of his eyes is affectionate rather than cruel. 

“There’s this guy…” Danny trails off, not knowing where to go in an explanation that holds so much importance. 

“Ahuh.”

“I think I have a thing for him.”

“Not seeing the problem.”

“I’m straight.”

Nathan raises his eyebrows, tilts his head to the side, shrugs a shoulder. “Okay.”

“You obviously thought I wasn’t,” Danny says. “Do I give off gay vibes?”

Nathan’s expression goes flat. “Are you expecting me to tell you intimate details about your own personality? No, you don’t give off gay vibes, but not many of the guys I’m into do. You’re cute and I thought there was no harm in trying.”

Being told he’s cute by someone as objectively hot as Nathan makes Danny feel very validated, but he still doesn’t get the same butterflies he gets whenever Drew glances his way. 

“Could I be bi?”

“Danny, I honestly cannot answer that for you. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe you’re pan. Maybe you’re straight but have a guy-crush. Maybe you’re reacting to however the guy sees you? I don’t know.”

Danny decides not to mention that whatever he’s feeling for Drew isn’t reciprocated. He doesn’t really want those words out in the open and he knows it’ll just make him sound even sadder. 

“How did you know that you were gay?”

“I kissed my brother’s best friend when I was thirteen and never looked twice at girl after that.”

“That easy?”

Nathan laughs, hollow and bitter. “No, it was never easy. My dad tried to convince me it was a phase for my entire high school career, said no quarterback son of his was queer. I never went to my prom. Didn’t date until college.”

“God, sorry. That must have been tough.”

“My dad and I are making amends now, but it’s slow. In terms of my feelings, though? Yeah, I suppose I just knew. I love my girl-friends, but never felt any kind of attraction. My friend Marcus, though? He says he only realized he was gay when he was twenty and noticed the common denominator in all his relationships going bust was him. It’s different for everyone.”

“I’m closer to thirty than twenty.”

“So what? There are people at every age discovering who they are.”

Danny thinks about it. There are inspirational stories coming out every week about people finally accepting themselves, but has he heard of anyone suddenly realizing this kind of innate element to their self-understanding? Perhaps he simply hasn’t noticed, too wrapped up in his own head. 

“Now that you’ve appointed me your gay guru, can you buy me a macaron? Guiding you through this crisis is making me hungry.”

Danny buys three macarons, of different flavors. He’s feeling generous. He also has more questions. Nathan tears into the Nutella one right away, playfully humming about how delicious it is. Danny sips his latte, wondering how best to frame what he wants to ask.

“What would you do, in this situation?”

“I’m a leap head-first into the water kinda man. You don’t seem the same.”

“I like to plan things, yeah. How do you know how deep the water is if you just jump with no precautions?”

“You don’t, that’s the point.”

“I like my spine intact and my brains not spilling on the bottom of the pool floor thank-you-very-much.”

“If I were you, then, I’d look out for signs. Test the waters. You think you might be bi? I’ll take you to a club and you can see how you like being with a man in a low-stakes, no-strings-attached environment.” 

Danny is apprehensive, but wasn’t half of him always hoping this is what Nathan would suggest? Going to a club might not totally clue Danny into how he’s feeling around Drew, but it would at least help him see if there’s a potential there that he always assumed he was straight because he hadn’t yet met anyone to make him think otherwise. 

*

Danny wears one of his tightest shirts with the sleeves rolled up and a new pair of jeans. He deliberates over his hair for more time than he thinks he’s ever spent before. And he resolutely does not throw up, even though he thinks he’s going to on at least five occasions. 

“Damn, you got that terrified twink vibe working for you,” Nathan says when he arrives at Danny’s door. “They’re gonna eat you up.”

Danny blinks at this, to Nathan’s raucous laughter, and Danny seriously contemplates shutting the door and hiding on his bed under his thick, soft comforter, safe from the world. 

Unfortunately, he placed himself in this situation and he _is_ curious, so he follows Nathan down to the uber instead, wishing desperately that he’d pre-gamed so he could be even a minuscule amount more uninhibited. 

Danny hasn’t been to a gay club before so he doesn’t really know what to expect, except what he sees in movies and TV shows. There aren’t any bachelorette parties, though, as far as he can tell, nor half-naked muscular guys going down on each other. Is he disappointed? No, if he only wanted to watch guys give and get blowjobs he could go to pornhub, and he’s already done that plenty. Danny thinks Nathan’s going to abandon him to hook up with someone else, but he stays with Danny for the first half hour, introducing him to his friends. 

Danny ends up accepting a drink and a dance from one of Nathan’s oldest and flirtiest friends, a guy named Vic who has gray eyes and light brown hair. He doesn’t really look like Drew, but has a similar physicality, and Danny feels like a jerk as well as like a genius. Nathan assured him that Vic’s all about unique experiences, though, so at least he isn’t going to be breaking any hearts. 

A few drinks and dances later, Danny’s looser and gigglier, enjoying the beat of the music and the way Vic’s holding onto his hips. Danny’s not as bad a dancer as his fans would say he is. He plays up the awkward dancer persona for laughs, but he can hold a rhythm and move fluidly when he wants, and anyway, it’s not like anyone in the club’s expecting a foxtrot. When the music goes slower, Danny places his hand at the small of Vic’s back and presses close to kiss him. 

And it’s good. Danny likes it. He can’t say it makes him hear a chorus of nightingales soar into song, or that his heart explodes with joy, or that he feels like the world stops spinning. But it’s a very enjoyable way to spend twenty minutes, making out in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, and he very much appreciates that Vic doesn’t pressure him for anything else even though he’s sporting a semi. When they pull apart, Danny smiles, scratches at the back of his neck. 

Would it be rude to thank him? Or ruder not to?

Danny settles on saying, “The next drink’s on me.

“Cool, but just one. I have work in the morning,” Vic replies. 

As let-downs go, it doesn’t hurt, not even a little bit. 

They rejoin Nathan and his other friends at a table, and even though Danny could stay as late as he wants, he makes his own schedule, he leaves when Vic does.

They exchange contacts, but Danny’s under no illusions that this is a relationship that’ll go anywhere. What he does know is that he’s not at all averse to kissing guys, especially guys who remind him of Drew, he’s not afraid of the idea of exploring this further, and he may just be a little bit bi. 

*

Danny doesn’t tell Drew about his revelation. He thinks he should, but he doesn’t know how. Just because Drew was his bi-awakening, that doesn’t mean he owes him anything. Also, he does not want to open himself up to the pain of Drew not caring or actively rejecting him. It’s easier if it’s a secret he keeps to himself. This becomes increasingly harder given the direction of their content.

The Gregs and Guys of the world go buckwild at the next few installments of their podcast and their collab youtube videos. The mussed hair of their second video does not go unnoticed, neither do the long gazes that Danny did completely accidentally but Drew highlighted with a push-in effect. Every quiet pause between them, every truthful or artful word, every time they interact, it’s cataloged. If people hadn’t been writing fanfic about them before, they definitely were now. There are so many Narcissus jokes going on in his comments section, Danny has taken to willfully misunderstanding them and asking why his fans are either a) likening him to a flower, or b) a Harry Potter character. 

Drew comes to visit after a particularly hectic week of DMs and, for the first time ever, other people’s conspiracy youtube videos about them. Danny is both flattered and horrified that he’s become the subject of commentary videos. Apparently, Kurtis has been getting flooded with questions at both his podcast and youtube accounts, and since they both forgot to tell him about their whole meta podcast plan, he’s able to claim complete ignorance. Danny’s heartened by the fact his reply is generally, ‘They could be a couple,’ though. Kurtis knows the two of them best out of anyone, and if he sees a possibility, maybe there is one?

Danny picks Drew up at the airport in a pitch perfect recreation of their last airport greeting; sign, hug, and all, but he notices that Drew’s more muted than usual. He tries to drag Drew into conversation, does his best to illicit a response, but he isn’t met with much other than an exhausted daze. 

Back at home, Danny asks Drew if he wants to lie down for a few hours. Drew’s not great with crowds and he probably just needs time alone to recharge his batteries.

“We have a lot to get through,” Drew says, business-like. “I have fixed flights.”

“All right,” Danny says. “Video first, podcast later?”

“Sure.”

The premise of their video is simple. They’re responding to cringey relationship videos, both valentine’s themed and not. It will afford them plenty of opportunities for ironic PDA, which they initially planned to turn into pretend unironic PDA. They have a script on the screen near them, but Danny has every part memorized.

Sliding his hand over Drew’s has Danny’s heart thumping out a jazz drum rhythm that could be played by Gene Krupa. He honestly needs to stop to take another breath before he speaks, because of the rush of excitement that surges up his spine. 

Drew holds his hand up, presses a kiss against his knuckles, and Danny needs to remind himself it’s all for show. This is a very long-form joke to Drew, and he doesn’t mean anything by it, but Danny still can’t help but swallow thickly, gazing at Drew like he’s sun glinting on the ocean; too bright not to sting but too beautiful to look away. 

Drew raises an eyebrow, sets Danny’s hand back in his lap. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” Danny says, sliding his hands together, “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“You really are an amazing actor,” Drew says, turning away for a moment. “You almost even have me convinced.”

His tone is bitter, and not in his usual sardonic, facetious way, but with real pain. Danny rocks forward on his chair, clasps hold of Drew’s knee to stop him from rolling away. 

“Wait. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know why I ever thought this would be a good idea, but I guess I assumed you’d be hilariously awkward, that it’d be real obvious we were only playing. But you gaze at me like that, and do the flustered flirtation part so well, its lost its humor for me.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a very kind thing to joke about in the first place? You know, maybe instead of feeling represented by it, people would just feel betrayed,” Danny says, heart lodged in his throat. 

“If you feel so strongly about it, why did you agree?”

“You asked.”

Danny’s confused by Drew’s reaction. He’s acting very tense and upset for someone who has no vested interest in how Danny feels about him. Which can only lead Danny to conclude that Drew does care how he feels, more than he’s ever shown. Perhaps all this time, Drew’s been shielding himself by pretending to be disaffected when he feels the same way Danny does?

Drew stares down at Danny’s hand on his knee and Danny realizes how close they’ve gotten. Sitting in one of his kitchen chairs, Danny’s lower down than Drew. He cranes up at the same moment Drew leans in.

“I wonder what gay chicken’s named when one of the participants is bi?” Drew asks, his lips an inch from Danny’s. They’re breathing the same air and the tension’s so thick it could star in its own reality TV show.

“Gayer chicken,” Danny responds. “What if they’re both bi?”

“Gayest chicken,” Drew counters.

Danny doesn’t wait for Drew to pull away or come closer. He doesn’t know which was going to happen, but he knows what he wants. He presses a very soft, very tentative kiss to Drew’s lips. Drew returns the kiss gently, before deepening it, sucking Danny’s lower lip and pushing closer. 

And it’s _perfect_. Danny is angry he’s denied himself this before. If he’d been honest with Drew from the beginning they could have been kissing for _months_. Kissing Drew is everything he’s never known he’s wanted; connection, warmth, care, all bundled up with the kind of nerve-tingling, body-melting hotness he’s been missing for a really long time. 

Drew pulls away from the kiss after a few moments, rests his forehead against Danny’s. “This is a thing that’s happening,” he says, sounding shocked rather than mocking. 

“It is,” Danny confirms. “I would very much like for it to keep happening.”

Drew moves further away, meets Danny’s gaze. “You’re sure?”

“Yep. Yes. All you have to do is ask.”

“Can I tell you something first? I never meant for this to happen. I just wanted to get closer to you, any way I could.”

Danny imagines a chorus of nightingales soaring into song, his heart exploding with joy, and the world stopping spinning. It feels so right. This isn’t anything he ever thought he would want before this year, but he was incredibly short-sighted.

He caresses Drew’s jaw, rubs his thumb at the corner of his lips. “Then come closer.”

*

On Tuesday, Drew messages and says, “Our podcast is up for an iheartradio podcast award.” By Wednesday, Danny has written five different acceptance speeches and tried them all out on Drew while they lounge around together in bed.


End file.
